Dealing with College Application Disappointment

College letter season is in full swing! Some students are receiving the letters that they hoped for, but others are finding themselves disappointed. After all, they likely put a great deal of hard work into their applications, and it can be hard to accept that this disappointment doesn’t have implications for the future.

In the moment, or its immediate aftermath, it is hard to realize that a particular rejection is not a verdict on a student's worth or potential. The admissions landscape is both opaque and ever-changing. What colleges or universities perceive they want in a student body is out of any one student’s control and so putting the disappointment into a perspective is what is now important. This disappointment has its usefulness: it can help sharpen self-understanding, it can highlight values (both real and maybe imagined), and it can open up opportunities for creativity that might otherwise not have been available.

Families and college counselors can play an important role here. Disappointments hurt. That should be acknowledged. Giving into fear about the future? That is not reasonable. Instead, student supporters should encourage their student to rethink their existing and anticipated options, while emphasizing that the student’s core character, strengths and aspirations are intact and achievable.

Rejection is a part of life. It is disappointing and it hurts. And it won’t be for the last time in a student’s life. Learning to understand the feelings it brings, learning to manage them, and learning to respond with resilience are skills that will serve students far beyond this season.