The Disorientation of Finishing

A few weeks back I wrote about reflecting on the upcoming end of the academic year and how students might, or might not, think about what kinds of changes they experienced. Now that, that particular ending is upon us (or nearly for some schools on the quarter system), the ending of that first year can be disorienting: not in a negative way necessarily, but all the same the person who started the academic year is changed at the end of it.

I remember standing in the hallway of my dormitory playing in my head a series of pronouncements I intended to share with my parents about the “new” me and what we could all expect. I have to say the actual conversation that occurred was briefer with fewer congratulations and agreements then the one I had practiced in my head.

Again, this is not to say that the summer has to be about conflict. More realistically it is a series of negotiations both large and small because there have been changes. What students probably have more difficult seeing is that there have been changes in their parents (or caregivers) perspectives too. And I would argue that this is the case for situations where students have left home for school, have commuted, or have done apprenticeships or other non-academic work training programs, or even just gone to work.

Everybody is changed by the small and large shifts wrought by the last year and taking a moment to reflect on that can be a very positive process. Students aren’t the same as they were at the beginning of the year, and families / caregivers aren’t either. That mutual change can cause friction but doesn’t have to be a barrier. Instead, it’s a reality that demands acknowledgment and gentle navigation. Letting those acknowledgments grow with the changes will help everyone mature together.